Someone to lean on
by catey123
Summary: Megan Wheeler is feeling alone, dealing with her unexpected pregnancy. Zach gives her a shoulder to lean on.
1. Chapter 1

Megan Wheeler had fallen into an easy rhythm with Zach Nichols. She expected him to wander off aimlessly, they ate food in tandem, he easily handing her a napkin. Heck, he even put a comforting hand out to her when a perp and his friend scuffled after that one arrest. And the realization that she trusted Zach more after 6 months of being partner with him than she had after 2 years of being a partner with Logan surprised her. It surprised her very much.

When he'd arrived, after Logan basically up and disappeared one day, so soon after the problems with her ex, all her walls and defenses were up. She was determined not to trust him, found his demeanor offputting, and felt herself expecting the worse. Instead, she fell victim to his flirting, his charm. The little weasel even managed to make her like him by remembering what she liked in her coffee. Being able to trust him really through her for a loop. And now, sitting here across from him, at their desks, she felt a small, sharp pang somewhere deep inside. Would he still be here when she came back from maternity leave? Would he like having Eames as a partner more than her? Would he even pay a visit to her, to see the baby while she was gone? And why the hell did she even care? He was her partner, not her boyfriend, at times she wasn't even sure they were friends. But care she did, and that's what bothered her.

_Why him?_ Why now, was it just because she needed someone to lean on, and he was providing a handy shoulder? It's not like she made him. He just seemed to know, and was there for her. The baby kicked just then, Megan quickly putting her hand on her ever expanding belly. The movement thrilled and saddened her. She had no one to share this with, no one to experience this journey to parenthood with. Her emotions began to get the better of her just then, and she didn't want anyone in the squad room to see her cry. So, she quickly grabbed a tissue, and escaped, seeing the viewing room empty, she went in there to have her little moment. However, she wasn't quick enough, her partner had seen her sadness and making her escape. He'd been in talking to Ross, and the windows gave a clear view for all to see. Quickly excusing himself from his captain, he left the room, tailing after his obviously distressed coworker.

Zach peeked through the tiny glass window, seeing Megan standing in there, hand on her belly, tissue to her eyes. He should have knocked, but subtlety wasn't his strong point, and he let himself in, startling her.

"Haven't you heard of knocking, Zach? I really didn't want any company right now." Megan said tearfully.

"If you didn't want anyone in here, you would have locked the door." he said quietly.

"Look, Zach, let me have my cry. I'm allowed one every once in awhile. I just didn't want anyone to see me. God knows there is enough talk about me behind my back as it is, I'd rather not put on a show for them." This brought on a fresh round of tears that she couldn't hold back.

"Megan, what's wrong. You know I'm here for you if you want to talk. That's what partners are for, right?" he said softly.

All this did was made her cry even harder. Not knowing what else to do, he simply put his arms around her, holding her as she cried her tears out. She had bottled things up for so long that it took along time for her to cry herself out. And he just stood there, holding her the entire time. When she finally regained control, she took a step back from him, and felt a little embarrassed. She hadn't meant to cry in front of him either, let alone being held safely in his arms.

"Thanks, Zach."

"Do you want to tell me what brought this on? I'm here for you any time you want to talk, Megan."

"It's stupid, really. The baby kicked when I was sitting at my desk. And I realized, I had no one to share it with. I'm the only one who wants this child, the only one who will be there when it arrives. The only one who will raise it. And I just felt so sad that I had no one to share this with. I go to the obstetrician and see men and women sitting there, anxious for their arrival, being together. They give me these pitiful looks, me being there alone. And I've got no one." She shut up then, feeling awful she'd revealed this to him. And it was her luck that the baby kicked again, and her hand fluttered up so she could feel the tiny kicks.

"May I?" Zach asked, reaching his hand out towards her belly. Glancing up, surprised that he wanted to feel the baby kick, she acquiesced. He lay his fairly large hand where her hand had lain. The baby chose to move in a different spot then, and she grabbed his hand, moving it to where the baby was now kicking. He looked at her in amusement as he felt the tiny life moving within her.

"Do you have a football player in there? Your baby is a strong one!"

Megan smiled, his enthusiasm starting to cheer her up. He moved closer to her, following the movement of the baby. She stepped in to him, his closeness making her feel different. She liked how it felt.

"Listen, it's near the end of shift, do you want to go and catch dinner? My treat." Zach asked her.

His voice broke her train of thought, and she realized she wanted to spend more time with him. "Yeah, sure, I'd love to."

"Good, it's settled. I know a fabulous restaurant near here, you'll love it."

And then surprising her all to heck, he took her in his arms, and gave her a warm hug. Her arms reached up and embraced him back, and she really didn't want to let him go. Reluctantly, though, she slid away from him.

"What was that for?" she asked him.

"You looked like you needed a hug and a friend. And Megan, I know I've only known you 6 months, but I'd like to think that I am that for you. You've been a terrific partner, and I want you to know, if you want someone to go to those appointments with you, I will. I'll be there for you, Megan. Anytime, anywhere."

This brought on a fresh round of crying and another embrace for her in his arms.

"You do know I'm going to have to go change my shirt now, don't you? I can't believe one woman has this many tears in her!" he said jokingly. "Give me 5, I'll meet you at your desk, and we'll be off to dinner. It has the most delicious lamb that I've ever tasted. Trust me."

He left the room, leaving her standing there, not entirely sure of what had just happened between the two of them. All she knew was that she was a lot happier now, knowing that someone was going to be there for her through the rest of this. And it just so happened it was the someone she wanted it to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Zach was right, of course he was, the restaurant he took her to was fabulous. The food was terrific, but for Megan, the company was much better. She hadn't let herself enjoy doing a lot of anything in the last few months, let alone going out to eat. She hated to eat alone for one thing, and she hadn't had much of an appetite to boot. But here she was, sitting here chatting away with her partner, and just enjoying his company. Which, again, surprised her. He had a way of making her guard come down, and after crying on his shoulder in the viewing room, well, there wasn't much he hadn't seen of her emotions by now.

"So, was I right, or was I right, Megan? Isn't the food here terrific?" Zach asked her, enthusiasm making him sound like a kid.

"Okay, Zach, you were right. It's great, thank you for bringing me here. It's been awhile since I dined out."

"I figured as much. So, what are your plans for the rest of the evening?"

"Well, the usual, I guess. Date with my couch, a tv show maybe. I should switch it up and go watch a movie, but I just want to go home." As Megan said this, she regretted saying it. She really didn't want to part from Zach's company, but she'd already taken so much of his day, she didn't want to keep him any longer.

"Hey, why don't we go for a walk after we leave here. I don't know about you, but I could use some exercise." He patted his belly for show.

_As if he had to worry about weight gain, _Megan thought. He was incredibly good shape, giving him the once over, a fact that hadn't escaped her attention. She weighed her options, and decided a walk with him was better than going home alone to an empty apartment.

"Well, I don't know if I want to exercise, but I could do with some company yet. I guess I'll go for that walk with you." she agreed.

Zach looked at her, trying to figure out his partner. He wasn't sure he ever would, but he could tell she needed someone right now. She was good at concealing things, putting on a great facade that only those close to her could see through. Problem was, apparently she didn't have a lot close to her right now. Shaking off his thoughts, he helped Megan on with her jacket, and they prepared to leave the restaurant. It was still light out, and pleasant enough for a nice walk. The silence between them was companionable, not strained, both musing as they went.

Finally, he spoke. "So, do you want to see my middle age civil servants chairs? My apartment isn't that far away, we can go there after our walk."

Megan glanced at him, not knowing what to say. She was curious, yes, because she wondered if the place was as quirky as he was. She guessed this was her opportunity to find out.

"Sure, I'll go. To see chairs. Okay, then." she smiled.

"Aw, come on, they are terrific chairs. You seen them in that apartment, mine look much better than them. Trust me on that."

"You're saying your chairs, on a civil servant salary, look better than those in Party Girl's place. Miss Moneybags?"

"Of course they are. They reflect my style and taste, which you already know is terrific." He gave her one of those smirks of his, and she couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Okay, fabulous chairs it is. When we go back to pick up our vehicles, I'll follow you back to your place."

"Sounds like a plan."

They walked on, and soon made it back to where their vehicles were parked in the police garage. Megan really had no idea where he lived, and curiosity getting the better of her. She realized she didn't know much about Zach, his parents were psychologists, he was divorced, he'd left the force after 9/11. And yes, he had those damn chairs. But really didn't know much besides. As she drove, she realized he was fudging a bit, he lived further from work than he let on. He lived in a great neighborhood, however, and she wondered how he could afford it on a cops salary. But he did come from money, so he probably could afford things that way. She pulled up behind him in his driveway, surprised that he lived in an actual house, and not an apartment.

"So, what do you think of my humble abode?" he opened her car door, and helped her out of it.

"It's impressive. I had no idea you lived in a house. I took you for a condo man." she smiled.

"Well, it was my grandmother's. She left it to me, and I love it. Lots of old memories here. This was where I had the good part of my childhood."

"Are we going to stand in your lane all evening, or am I going to get to see these chairs?"

"That's just like you, Megan, no patience." he laughed.

"I have plenty of patience. I have to put up with you on a daily basis." She gave a giggle and a huge smile, to show him that she wasn't being mean about it.

"Well, then, my dear, let's go. I hate to keep a lady waiting." He tucked her arm into his, and they proceeded up the steps to his home.

They entered into an impressive entryway, and he took her coat and hung it on a rack there. His soon followed, and he lead her into the first room, wherein stood an enormous piano. Somehow, that didn't surprise her. The man was talented. Just one more thing he could do well, it seemed. She looked around and seen the chairs also that had been the lure to bring her there. Once again, he was right. They were a nicer color than the ones she'd seen on the case, and fit the room quite well.

"Impressive. You're right, the chairs look much better here. Tell me, Zach, are you right about everything?"

"You know it, Megan. You should be used to it by now."

"I should be, but somehow, I figure someday, something will trip you up."

Megan ran her hand along the piano keys as she walked past, taking in everything. The room was decidedly masculine, without it being overwhelming. It was also very neat, showing that Zach liked order at home. No pictures save for one, with a woman she assumed was his mother. She stopped to look at it, and he came up behind her.

"That's my mom." he confirmed her guess.

"Well, you have her eyes, I'll say that. She's a striking woman."

They moved on from there, and he took her from room to room, each one impressive. They ended up in the kitchen, which was huge.

"I should have known You have a fabulous kitchen. You like to cook, don't you?"

"Yes, one of my little known talents. I'll have you over for a meal sometime, you'll love it, tru--"

"Trust me." Megan chimed in, her voice overlapping his.

"Am I that predictable in my speech?"

"Not predictable, no, but you do like me to trust you."

"You need to trust someone, Megan, it might as well be me."

Zach was close to her when he said that, and Megan was very aware of it. She clenched her fist tightly, to remind herself that he was her partner. She could smell his aftershave, and her emotions were playing havoc with her. It didn't help that he chose to put his hands on her shoulders right then, like he did at work. It was hard enough at work, but here alone, with him, it was almost impossible to ignore the knot in her stomach.

"Last time I trusted anyone, I got burnt twofold. How do I know you won't hurt me either?"

"Cause it's me, Megan. I know what you've gone through, I would never hurt you. Can you trust me on that?"

Megan looked at him, trying to figure out if he had an angle, one that he was using on her. He was the son of psychologists, he was good at manipulating people. She'd seen him do it.

She avoided answering the question, and left his kitchen. He trailed after her, as she made her way back to his piano. She took a seat at it, and he sat beside her. He started playing a lovely song, and Megan watched his hands dance across the keys. The baby chose to make itself known then, kicking Megan as the music played. She smiled, putting her hand on her belly, following the movement. Zach noticed and smiled at her. Megan looked at him, and realized that any walls she had left were rapidly being knocked down. And she wasn't entirely upset at that revelation.


	3. Chapter 3

Megan left Zach's home a very confused woman. Scared of the realization she'd come to there, she had a little panic attack when she got home. She didn't want to get that close to him, only to be hurt again. Ross' words of "one partner left you, you're ex-fiancé did that to you" beat in her head. And the only way to not get hurt was to throw her walls back up. She had decided to let them down a bit, but only as far as friendship between them. She welcomed his help in the little things, but she couldn't afford to get close to him emotionally, not now.

The phone rang, and Megan checked the caller I.d., seeing it was Zach. She picked up, almost sighing as she did so.

"Hey partner, didn't get enough of me for one night, now you're phoning?" Megan joked.

"Just wanted to make sure you got home safely, Megan. You looked so tired when you left here."

Stunned by his thoughtfulness, when so often in the past he was kind of absentminded and not focused on much but himself, Megan spoke again.

"I got here safe and sound, Zach. I'm in my house, and I'm heading for bed soon. I'll see you in the morning. And Zach?"

"Yeah, Megan?"

"Thanks for today. I really needed someone to listen to me. Thank you."

Silence filled the phone line, and Megan wondered if he'd hung up. Finally he spoke.

"I told you this afternoon, anytime you need me Megan, I'm here. Anytime."

"See you in the morning, Zach."

"Goodnight, Megan."

With that, they hung up, and Megan was left in confused silence again. It felt good to have someone to look out for her. But Zach? Groaning, she continued her nighttime routine, getting ready for bed. She fell into a dreamless sleep, tossing and turning. Morning came way too soon, and she crawled out of bed, not sure she even wanted to go into work. She debated phoning in sick, but decided to save it for another occasion.

Before she knew it, she was walking into work, facing another day. Zach had beat her there, and a cup of tea sat at her desk, containing two sugar already. She looked around to thank him, but didn't see him. She shrugged off her jacket, and settled into work. She got caught up in her case file and almost jumped out of her skin when Zach put his hands on her shoulders.

"Jesus, Zach, way to scare me! A little warning next time!" Megan joked.

"Ah, my catlike grace and silence got you, huh Megan?" he joked back.

"Catlike? Hardly. Sneaky, yes." she smiled at him. "Thanks for the tea, by the way. It's good you remember."

"You'd be surprised what I remember about you, Megan." He gave her that strange, half smile of his, and settled in at his desk.

Megan watched him over the computer screen, analyzing his face. Yes, he was older than her, but he was attractive in a quirky sort of way. She'd definitely give him a second glance on the street. The more she'd gotten to know him the last few months, the more she'd liked him, that was definite. And that nice streak he had under his sarcastic side drew her to him too. He valued what she thought about cases, and they were able to bounce ideas off one another without the initial irritation she originally felt with him.

Zach glanced up then, catching her looking at him. This time he gave her a full smile, one which she returned, before returning to her computer screen. The morning passed quickly, no cases to capture their attention, and before she knew it, it was time for lunch.

"Hey, you want to go to this diner near here, Zach? I owe you a meal after dinner yesterday. You up to it?" she asked him.

"I think you know the answer to that, Megan." He was on his feet before she knew it, grabbing his jacket. He came over and held her coat out for her, helping her put it on, and they headed for the elevator.

As they walked down the street, the subject of her impending motherhood came up again, when he asked her who was going to be in the delivery room for her.

"Well, I asked Alex to go the classes with me. She's going to be my labour coach." Megan said. She looked at Zach then, and thought she glimpsed a moment of hurt in his eyes.

"I'd have asked you, Zach, but to be honest, I'm not thrilled with anyone else being in the delivery room with me. And honestly, until yesterday, we hadn't exactly talked about anything."

"It's okay, Megan. I'll be here for everything else. And if you need backup, I'll tag along to the classes if you want. You know, in case Eames can't make it or something."

His wheedling made Megan smile. The man was determined to put himself into her life it seemed. She found she didn't mind it.

"Okay, fine, Zach, you can come to the classes. Sit on the sidelines, though. Alex has helped me a bit the last few months, and she's the one who offered. She's a great friend."

"You say this now, but you know you'll want me to be there with you." he jokingly said to her.

"Zach, the only real way I'd want you in there is if you were the father of this child. I have no wish for the first time you see me half naked is when I'm delivering this child." Megan said without really thinking.

"Does that mean you want me to see you half naked, Megan?" he teased her.

Megan went beet red when she realized what she'd said. Honestly, yes, she would like that, but she wasn't about to admit that to him here, walking down the street, discussing her impending delivery.

"NO! I didn't say that! I meant-" Megan got more flustered as she tried to speak. "Never mind, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Thankfully they reached the diner at that time, and he held the door open for her. She went in, wanting to forget that little exchange, still red in the face from it.

"Fine, you want to be in the classes with Eames and I, they're starting tonight. They're once a week. I'll give you the address when we get back to the office. And only if it's okay with Alex." Megan said, once they were seated.

"Megan, you won't regret this." He said, as he looked at the menu.

"I already do." she whispered softly.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why on earth would you want Nichols to come to your birthing classes? I mean, he's your partner and all, but... why?" Alex questioned Megan in the break room.

"I don't know, Alex, he kind of talked me into it. He's been a great friend lately. And he's not going to be a coach, like you are, he just wants to be your backup, in case you can't make it when I do go into labor." Megan said sheepishly. She really didn't know how to explain the sudden fact that Zach wanted to be the backup coach.

"Are you sure?" Doubt filled Alex's eyes, and Megan could see the disbelief in them as well.

"Think of Nichols as my Goren. He's wormed his way into my life, and he's become a great friend. I'm glad to know him. Plus, since you'll be my "replacement" while I'm on maternity leave, this will give you two a chance to get to know one another." Megan was desperate for Alex's approval.

Grudgingly, Alex agreed. "Well, if he's anything like Bobby, I'll be able to handle him. You may need to give me some survival tips on working with him, however."

"Well, if he disappears in the middle of an investigation, don't be alarmed. He's probably wandering the streets, thinking about the case. He'll return eventually. Oh, and he loves to finish sentences. And if he's anywhere near a piano during a case, he'll play it." Megan said in bemusement.

"And you consider this normal?"

"Well, I didn't have much choice here. I didn't get to pick him as my partner. But I am glad I got to know him. He's really very sweet underneath the smugness." Megan grinned.

"What am I getting myself into? You better hurry up and get back here after that baby is born. I don't know how I'll be able to handle switching between my partner and yours."

"Six weeks, that's all, Alex, I promise. Thanks so much for everything you've been doing, by the way. I know you didn't have to agree to any of this." Megan said sadly.

"Megan, don't worry about it. I'm sure you'd do it for me if I was in the same place. But if I kill your partner after the class tonight, be prepared." Alex grinned.

"You wouldn't be the first one to want to do that. Or so I've heard, anyway."

They walked out of the break room, and ran into the object of their conversation.

"Oh,oh, my ears are burning. You two lovely ladies talking about me?" Zach asked.

"Flattery doesn't work here, Nichols. Yes, we were talking about you. And Alex has agreed to your little request, as long as you sit back and observe. Deal?" Megan said.

Zach looked at the two determined women and decided he'd better give in for now. He'd convince them later that he could be put to good use. He didn't know why he felt the need to be there for Megan, but he couldn't bear the thought of his sad partner from the other day. And this was another way to build that fragile trust that had started between the two of them.

"Fine, deal. But I know you'll change your mind later. You know you want me there. You just don't know it yet."

He wheeled around and walked away, leaving the women staring after him.

"I'm never going to make it the six weeks, am I, Megan. I can see it now." Alex stared after him in disbelief.

"Oh, believe me you will, Alex. Give him a chance. I'm glad I did."

This brought a quick look at her from Alex, seeing something hidden within Megan's words. Realization dawned on her that Megan was relying on Zach for more than just friendship. She didn't know whether to be worried or shocked, but realized she wasn't one to speak. No one could figure out her and Bobby's relationship, so she wasn't about to lecture Megan on getting too close to one's partner. Megan needed a break from the drama that had enveloped her, and she hoped Zach provided that. Alex just hoped it worked out for her in the end.

"Well, breaks over. I better round up my partner and head out. See you at the class tonight, Megan." With that, Alex departed, leaving Megan thinking about tonight, and whether either of her two friends would make it out of the enforced partnership unscathed.

Class went surprisingly well, however. No butting of heads, her two strong willed friends behaved themselves. Zach sat to the side, observing things, and Alex had actually been through this personally, so it was more a refresher course for her. Every once in awhile, Megan would glance sidelong at Zach, to see what he was doing. He usually caught her glances, and gave his little half smiles. She watched his particular tic of playing with his hair while he was paying close attention to things. Her mind was split between the class and him, and she was relieved when it was over.

"So, who's up for an after class beverage? My treat, ladies." Zach said.

"Actually, Zach, I've got to get going. I'm meeting someone else soon. Thanks for the offer though." Alex said.

"What about you, Megan? Anything you want. And I know a great little place we can go to." Zach cajoled her.

Megan smiled, knowing she was going to answer yes. She finally agreed. "Sure Zach, as long as you're buying, I'm in."

"See you tomorrow, Megan, Nichols." Alex left them there, watching her leave.

"I'm not sure she likes me much, Megan." Zach started to speak, as they followed Alex out of the building.

"Alex is always like that, Zach. She can be kind of tough at times, but mostly it's a front. But I'll warn you now, she won't take kindly to half the crap you've pulled on me!"

"Hey, now, come on! I'm not that bad!"

"Excuse me, Mr. Breakfast at Tiffany's? You disappear on me, you don't tell me about suspects,--"

"Well, we were just beginning to know each other then. You must admit, I've grown on you."

"Yes, I suppose I've grown accustomed to you the last few months." Megan grew quiet after that, afraid he'd see through her.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've really grown accustomed to you. You're my favorite partner. But don't tell Ross that, he thinks he is." he joked.

Megan wanted to change the subject, she was trying to back away from the closeness she was feeling. "So, where is this nice place for a drink, huh, Zach? I caught a ride with Alex, so I guess you're my ride now, she picked me up at home."

Zach didn't answer, instead steering Megan towards his car and helping her in.

"Why did you want to come to the class tonight, Zach? It's not really your kind of thing, I would think."

"Curiosity, I guess, Megan. I figured with our new friendship, and never knowing when you might go into labor, I'd be here for you. Can't blame a guy for trying, can you?"

"No, I suppose not. I just never thought you'd be interested."

"You'd be surprised at what I'm interested in, Megan." Zach said softly.

Megan remained quiet at that, staring out at the traffic, instead. Soon enough, they pulled up in front of a little diner, but by then, Megan wasn't sure if she was in the mood to go in.

"Zach, do you mind if we get a couple of drinks to go? I just want to go home. That's if you don't mind. If it's okay, I'll give you the grand tour of my place. Be warned though. The tour is fairly short."

He looked at her, seeing she did look tired. "Give me a few minutes. What did you want to drink?"

"Oh, I'm feeling daring tonight. How about a hot chocolate?"

"One hot chocolate coming up, I'll be right back."

With that, Megan was left alone with her thoughts, wondering why she'd just invited him over to her place. Definitely not the way to distance herself from him, that was for sure. She just hoped she could figure out what to do with her burgeoning emotions for him, cause she'd realized it was almost impossible to deny it to herself any longer.


	5. Chapter 5

Megan unlocked her apartment door, and Zach followed her inside. She flipped on the light switch, and put her purse on the table. She started to shrug off her coat, when she suddenly felt Zach helping her take her coat off.

"Is this going to be a regular thing, you helping me like this all the time? I've taken my coat off plenty of times in the past, Zach." Megan said, bemused.

"Just helping a lady in need, my dear." He proceeded to hang her coat up on the hook near the door, and did the same for his own.

"So this is my home sweet home. Not much to look at, but it's comfortable. Although, I'm wondering about getting a bigger place soon. My lease doesn't run out for awhile yet, but I'm thinking I need a bigger place. Plus, I think I'd like a fresh start. A few too many memories here." She didn't speak her ex's name, but Zach could tell it was preying on her mind.

"Well, if I see anything come up, I'll let you know. And I'll even make the ultimate sacrifice and help you move."

"Gee, thanks Zach. Don't sound so enthused about it." Megan laughed.

"Don't take my offer lightly, Megan. I don't offer to help anyone move very often. I prefer not to, if truth be told." he joked.

"Well, we'll see. I've got Ross on diaper duty, and you on moving duty, so I guess I'm set then." she smiled.

As Megan had did at his house, Zach began touring around her apartment, taking in everything. It was a comfortably furnished place, small but attractively decorated. Megan had good taste. He began looking at her pictures, what few she had up. He moved on from there, examining her bookshelf which was equal parts books and dvds. Seeing "Roman Holiday" on the shelf, he plucked it off, turning to Megan as he did so.

"Audrey Hepburn? You're a fan of hers too?" holding the case up.

"Well, I never said I wasn't a fan of hers, Zach. I just objected to you disappearing in the middle of a case to watch an Audrey Hepburn movie."

"Care to watch it? It's not too late yet." He moved towards her dvd player before she even said yes. It seemed to be a thing with him, not waiting for her acceptance or refusal.

"Do you have to do that, Zach? Yes, I want to watch the movie, but I never said yes or no. I wish you wouldn't do that." Megan said a little petulantly.

"Sorry, Megan. You're right." Surprisingly, he turned and handed her the movie.

Taking it, Megan opened the case and popped it in.

"Don't be mad at me, okay, Zach? It's just something Colin used to do, and I really dislike it." It was as if a flood was unleashed then. She couldn't stop.

"You know, he had me fooled. He really did. Never seen through him, never ever thought he'd do anything like that. What kind of detective am I? I couldn't see through him, I was sleeping with him. God, I feel like I'm barely holding onto my job, I've got this baby coming, I don't even know if the job will be here when I get back. I hate him, Zach, I really do. And it might be mean, petty, whatever, he will never know about this child. I grew up without a father for most of my life. And it's not as if this child would be able to get to know him, he's behind bars after all." she spat out.

Zach watched her. Megan was one angry woman, and obviously was still feeling everything very strongly. Finally he spoke.

"First off, Megan, your job will still be here when you are ready to come back. I'll make sure of that. I'm pretty sure Ross will make sure of that too. And as for being fooled, how much time did you spend together before you got engaged? After you got engaged? I mean, he lived on the other side of the Atlantic. I'm pretty sure he had a good thing going. He never thought he'd get caught. You're a detective, yes, but you loved him. I do think you would have found out eventually. But don't ever put down your detective skills. You are one of the best I've worked with."

Zach walked over to her then, putting his hands on her shoulders again. Seeing the devastation in her eyes again, he pulled her into a hug. At first she resisted, but she gave in to it, just to have that feeling of being comforted. She buried her face into his chest, holding on to him tightly. She felt so safe with him, like he'd never hurt her. They stood that way for what seemed a long time, til the anger passed, and Megan felt like herself again.

"I'll make some popcorn." With that, she walked to her small kitchen, leaving Zach looking after her. He turned to the tv and put it on, and settled on the couch. She joined him shortly, and curled up under a throw blanket she had there. They both settled in to watch the movie, making small talk here and there, until Megan drifted off to sleep. She really had been tired, and the letting out of the earlier emotions had taken its toll on her.

Zach watched her sleep a bit, seeing Megan without the strain of work and life on her face. She really was an attractive woman. He'd noticed that when they'd first met, the color of her eyes flashing angrily at him. It had been a rocky beginning, that was for sure, but he couldn't have asked for a better partner. She was an intelligent, strong woman who had been dealt a rough hand lately. He didn't know when he'd begun to feel a little more than friendly for her, but it had been building lately. The problem was, he seemed to be scaring her off, her past seeming to haunt her from getting to close to him. When he'd seen her start to cry the other day, he couldn't help but try and protect her from the hurt. He really would do anything for her.

Megan stirred in her sleep, and the blanket slipped down. Zach reached out to pull it back up and tuck her in. Megan, at the same time, had reached in her sleep to pull the blanket up, and their hands touched. This was enough to wake her up, and she started at seeing him so close. Zach took her hand in his, and rubbed his thumb up it slightly, stroking it. She looked at him, not pulling her hand back, accepting his touch. She sat up then, adjusting her position on the couch. Tension suddenly thickened between them, neither sure what to do next. He kept her hand in his, not wanting to relinquish it. With her other hand, she reached out to his face, and stroked his cheek. The moment was broken by the ringing of both their cellphones. They were being called in to work.

"Megan, I'm--" Zach started, only to be interrupted by Megan.

"Don't, Zach, just don't. I'm not sure what's happening between us. I'm confused right now, and I'm not sure of anything right now. Let's just get to work, and we'll talk about this later." Megan's heart was fluttering. She'd admitted to herself that something was happening between them, in spite of her earlier resolve not to get too close to him.

He held out his hand, helping her off the couch. "Okay, Megan. We'll take it a step at a time."

They stood there for a few minutes, Megan not letting go of his hand. She truly was confused, and it was taking all her energy not to just throw her arms around him again, just to be held. The silence was broken by their phones ringing again, and they shut the tv off, and left.


	6. Chapter 6

Everything was working out fine for the two partners, except they never did revisit what had occurred at Megan's apartment. If Zach tried to bring it up, Megan generally avoided it. Still, he stood beside her. He was there for the doctor's appointments, the unexpected cravings in the middle of shift, and yes, even the mood swings. He was more patient than Megan had ever suspected he could be. Things were going quite well, except for the glitch of Alex having to drop out of the birthing classes. When Ross had found out that she was suppose to be Megan's coach, he went off on a tangent of not being able to afford two of his officers to be out at the same time. So, Megan asked her sister, which she wasn't exactly sure about. And this set Zach off again.

"Look, Zach, if Alex can't do it, do you honestly think Ross is going to be thrilled you are taking her place? I believe I just got raked over the coals for asking her in the first place."

"Megan, I want to be there. I should get first choice, I've been taking the classes longer than your sister has." he pouted.

"Zach, you can still be my backup, okay? It's just I need to have someone outside of work to be there. And it's not like she's taking your place in anything else."

Appeased for now, Zach let the subject drop. He wasn't happy, but he could see the logic of her decision. For now, they kept a routine of doing things together a few nights a week, but Megan didn't let her guard down again. She didn't know what she wanted, how she felt. She put it off to hormones, and left it at that. Zach didn't push it, either. He was determined to let Megan take the lead on this. As much as he wanted to pursue what had almost occurred at Megan's, he held back. For him, it was enough that they were spending time together, and he was learning more about her everyday.

They were becoming closer all the time, the two bonding together. Even on birthing class nights, Megan's sister cut out after class, sometimes feeling like a third wheel around the two of them. It wasn't as if the partners tried to exclude her, but given the closeness of them, it couldn't be helped. Even with that, Megan was still on guard, almost expecting to get hurt at any moment.

Before they knew it, Megan was almost to term. She was tired a lot, and moody, but she kept working. She didn't want to be thought of as anything but a detective doing her job. On the job, she didn't let Zach coddle her, no matter how hard he tried. And when they ran into the case of a murdered young assistant to a "famous" poet, things started to brew into a storm for the two of them.

"Listen, I'm going to see Sandra Dunbar tonight. I think we almost have enough on her, and if I visit, we may make the case.. Do you mind if I skip movie night tonight?" Zach asked as they left their last birthing class.

"Really, Zach? I thought we'd go out and celebrate the end of these classes. Are you ditching me?" Megan joked.

Zach looked at her, not good with being deceptive with her.

"We'll celebrate tomorrow night. My treat, anywhere in the city you want to go." he cajoled her.

Megan looked at her sister, not knowing quite what to say. Finally, she gave a little head nod, and Zach left her standing there with her sister.

"Well, there went my ride. Could I catch one from you, Sarah?" Megan asked.

"Anything, sis. Too bad he had to take off on you tonight. What's so important he couldn't at least celebrate the last of these classes?"

"Well, if he gets a hint on anything, he's like a dog with a bone, he's going after it, and won't let it go. I suppose I should be used to it by now. Still, I feel like I've been stood up. You should see this Dunbar woman. She's really "enthusiastic" about poetry." Megan tried to joke, but her heart wasn't in it. She really did feel like he had cut out on her.

"I'll take you out to celebrate, Megan. How about an ice cream?" Sarah smiled.

"Sure, I'd like that. I feel bad, we've been ignoring you, haven't we? I mean, I ask you to help with this, and we're always running off right after class." Megan said.

"It's no biggie, really. I have to get going after class usually anyway, so it's okay. Your "friend" is kind of intense, isn't he? How do you put up with him on a daily basis and not kill him? I thought the teacher would, he seems to know about as much as she does about birthing techniques. At least if you go into labor on the job, he'll be able to deliver!" Sarah laughed.

"Well, I said this to him, the first time he sees me half naked is not going to be when I'm giving birth. And still he wants to take the birthing classes."

"Ah, so you do want him to see you that way someday!" Her sister latched onto that.

"What, no, wait, I didn't say that! I'm just not comfortable letting Zach see me that way." Megan protested.

"You say that now, but after you have my niece, you'll be singing a different tune! Don't worry, I'll babysit any night you want to seal the deal with that gentleman." she giggled.

"Sarah, don't make me hit you. Seriously. I have no idea whether anything will happen between us. I'm still not sure I do want anything to happen. I do like him, but we're partners. Interdepartmental fraternization is kind of frowned upon." Megan replied.

"Your lips say no, your eyes are telling me something else. I'll just say this, he's very charming. And not in the fake way that Colin was. Honestly, he's more your type than that pompous ass you were engaged to."

"You tell me this now. You couldn't have told me before I got engaged and knocked up?" Megan said sadly.

"Megan, you loved him. If I had told you that a year ago, you would have told me to mind my own business. You know that as well as I do. And even if he is a lying jerk, you are still going to have my niece. The only good thing he ever did."

"Well, it's not the way I wanted to become a mother, but I do love this child. I'm still not telling him about her. I don't think I ever will."

"Maybe someday you'll change your mind. It won't be for him, it will be for her, because she might want to know someday."

"I know, I've thought of that. But she won't ask for a while yet. I at least have time to think about it. I'm not thrilled at letting him know. I don't want him back in my life, even letting him know about her."

With that, the conversation ended, as they arrived at a diner to get some ice cream. They ordered a couple of sundaes, and sat down to talk.

"So, what's so important about this Dunbar woman that he had to run off and see her tonight?"

"Oh, he probably had an epiphany about some small clue. He does that, just wanders off when the thought strikes him. I should be used to it by now, but yeah, I'm surprised he cut out. We have an Audrey Hepburn movie to watch." Megan toyed with the ice cream in the bowl.

"He seems like an okay guy. Weird, but nice."

"I've gotten used to him. First time I met him, I was ready to throttle him by the end of the day. But yeah, you get used to certain things. And now, I'm going to miss working with him, once the baby comes."

"I don't think it's the work you'll miss."

"You could be right, Sarah. But you know what? I'll live. I'm going back, he'll still be there. I just hope he doesn't like working with Eames better." Megan tried to joke, but she still had a little fear of that in the back of her mind.

"Megan, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just seeing him in class shows how much he thinks of you. If it makes you feel any better, I think he's going to miss you as much as you miss him."

"I hope so, I really do."

With that, Megan finished her ice cream and the sisters called it an evening.


	7. Chapter 7

Megan was surprised Zach never phoned, never tried to get a hold of her. She let it go, telling herself she'd see him at work the next day, but she still had a feeling of discomfort. She was so used to him being there, especially after class, that she felt abandoned. He'd mentioned he was going to head over to Sandra Dunbar's, it didn't make her feel any better that he had gone there. She had trouble sleeping that night, and wasn't in the mood for much of anything once she got up for work the next day.

Zach sat at his desk, there bright and early, staring at some files on the computer. Megan took a seat at her desk, her customary tea sitting there, but she stared morosely at it.

"Something fascinating on that computer, Nichols? How was last night?"

Hearing Megan say his last name instead of his first was the first indication to Zach that he'd done something. He hadn't heard her call him that instead of Zach in a very long time. Flipping his computer screen down, he looked at her, taking in the black circles under her eyes and her pale skin.

"Um, we have a lot in common. We both think Jacob Garrety is a prince."

He rambled on some more, while Megan sat there, hating that he'd been around that woman, even if she was a suspect. When he asked if she'd like to go to a poetry reading, she stood up, needing to get out of the office. Once they'd arrived at the poetry reading to celebrate Garrety's life, Megan once again felt left out on the arrest. Zach had the fake piece of poetry to read, and when he did, Dunbar had fallen right for it, eventually confessing to both murders. Once they'd gotten back to One Police Plaza, Megan zipped through her paper work, wanting to get out of there, and away from Zach for awhile. She almost made it too, when suddenly Ross called her into the office.

Megan sat down in one of the chairs, wondering what had happened now. And also wondering why her partner hadn't been called in as well.

"What do you know about Nichols going to visit Sandra Dunbar last night?" Ross asked her pointblank.

"Not too much captain. He mentioned he might have a clue to something, and was going to visit her about it, but he hasn't said too much today. Although whatever he did pick up, evidently gave him enough to get her to confess to both murders." Megan answered truthfully.

"Well, she's already lawyered up, and her lawyer intend to file a complaint against Nichols. That he manipulated his client, got her defenses down and helped push her towards confessing. That he was overly familiar with her at her apartment, playing piano to her, trying to seduce her, keeping telling her that she could trust him. Do you know anything about this?" Ross grilled her.

Clenching her fists together, Megan turned white-knuckled. Not knowing what to say, just wanting to escape Ross' office and the building altogether, Megan denied any knowledge of what her partner had been up to. Seemingly satisfied with this, Ross allowed her to escape. Barely stopping at her desk to gather up her purse, she got out of the Major Case unit in record time, not waiting to see her partner, needing to get away.

Her mind reeled, Ross' words ringing in her head. _Trust me, _she kept hearing Zach say. Did he do this to everyone he wanted to get something out of? What did he want out of her? Was she just an experiment for him to try out techniques on, perfecting them to use on perps? Is that why she was so easy to abandon on the last night of birthing classes, he was bored, needing to use his techniques on a suspect right away? _It's my own fault_, she thought. _I knew better than to trust him. What was I thinking?_ Her mind jumped from thought to thought, not being able to settle.

In spite of the crushing she was feeling in her chest, Megan held herself together. She made it out of the building, climbing into her car, sitting there for a moment. She couldn't go home, at least not right away. If she knew her partner at all, and apparently she didn't, he would look for her there first. She decided to drive to her sisters' place. She just didn't want to deal with thoughts of Zach right now. She fished her cellphone out, and shut the ringer off too. Any messages could go to voicemail, she'd check in. Throwing her phone on the seat, she put her car in gear, heading to her sisters.

Forty-five minutes later, Megan pulled into her sister's driveway. She grabbed her purse, leaving the cell on the seat, locking the car up. When she knocked on her sister's door, all Sarah had to do was take a look at Megan's pale face to know that something had happened. She opened the door wide, letting Megan walk by. She didn't say anything, knowing Megan would talk when she wanted to. Shrugging her coat off, she collapsed onto the couch, curling up as best she could.

After twenty minutes, Sarah finally asked her what was wrong. Megan just stared at her. How could she explain to her that she'd trusted the wrong man, once again? Sarah gave her some more time, and finally Megan told her a bit of what was happening.

"Well, how do you know any of that, Megan? I don't think he'd use you like that. But I do think you'll have to ask him yourself, just so you can have peace of mind."

"It doesn't matter whether it was on purpose or not. He never told me any of this stuff of going off to her place and "being a shoulder to cry on". What else am I suppose to think? He did the same thing with me."

"Talk to him later, once you've calmed down. If you don't, you'll have this thing between you for a long time. And unless you aren't coming back after you have the baby, the man will still be your partner. You need to work this out somehow."

With that, Sarah left Megan alone, mulling everything over in her mind. _I don't know why I'm so upset. He's not my boyfriend. He's my friend. Just because I want him as more than a friend doesn't mean anything. It caught us our suspect, didn't it? But he got through to her the same way he did me. God, I don't know what to think. I'm still so angry with him!_

Her mind whirling, Megan finally started to calm down. She still wasn't able to let go of her anger, however. She felt betrayed, and the fragile trust that she'd had with him was cracking. She left her sisters shortly afterwards. She decided to drive around, she couldn't think at her sisters' anymore. She drove for what seemed like hours. Tired, she finally went home. She went up to her apartment, and Zach was sitting in front of her door. Sighing, she figured she should have known he'd be there.

"How did you get in here? It's a locked entrance." Megan said, her tone chilly.

"One of your lovely neighbors let me in when I flashed my badge." Zach said calmly. "Don't you answer your phone? Check your messages? I've been trying to get hold of you for hours. I've been worried about you."

"What do you want, Zach? Just go home, okay?" She wasn't up for dealing with him, not now.

Zach, however, didn't pay attention to her plea. He stood up, trying to put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't Zach, just don't. Go home."

"No, Megan, I won't. We need to talk." he said back.

Sighing, she realized he'd probably sit outside the door all night, until she let him in. She opened the door, walking in, with Zach close behind her. He had barely closed the door, when Megan lashed into him.

"So, was I an experiment? Perfecting your sympathy routine on me, so you could use it on suspects? See how much you can get a person to trust you, and then use it against them?" Her voice shredding into him.

"I didn't use you, Megan. Not at all. Yes, I went over there. But what I did there, and anything I've had with you are two different things. I wouldn't use you like that. Never."

"Right, Nichols. And that's why you skipped over the little details of telling me that this morning. The reason you skipped out last night, because you had to go comfort the poor, grieving murderess. I understand completely." She said sarcastically.

"Megan, stop, believe me, I would never use you. You mean too much to me."

"Right, I mean so much to you, yet I get raked over the coals by the captain because they're filing a complaint against you, and Ross is all up in arms over you getting cozy with the suspect. And then Ross asks me if I knew you were going there to do that."

"They're grasping at straws, Megan. She'll plead some sort of insanity, or mental incapacity, and this case will be dropped against me. It's not like I haven't had something filed against me before."

"Well, isn't that just perfect for you then. Everything just bounces off you. Me, I'm barely getting by. First my fiancé leaves me high and dry, the department makes me feel about as tall as an ant, thinking I had something to do with what he did. Then, Mike takes off, just like that. I get stuck with the "unique" partner, and get dragged along for the ride. Well, Zach, I think I'm going to get off this ride. When I come back from maternity leave---" Megan's rant was cut short by Zach kissing her softly on the lips.

Momentarily taken aback, Megan started to struggle, before finally giving into it. To be honest, she'd thought of this for so long, but definitely not under these circumstances. He pulled her in closer to him, and she snaked her hands through his hair, holding him even closer. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, not wanting her to back away from him. His kiss was gentle, and Megan found her anger fading somewhat. Her mind went into overdrive then, all she could think was _No, No, No, not like this! _She finally pulled herself away from him, more confused than before.

"Why'd you have to go and do that for, Zach? Why?" she said softly.

"It's been a long time coming, Megan. And I didn't want you to finish that sentence. When you come back from maternity leave, I still want you to be my partner. I don't want anyone else."

"So, you kissed me to shut me up about leaving Major Case? Nice, Zach, nice. Now, if you would just leave, I need to get some sleep. I'm tired, I'm angry and I'm sore. And I'm not up for dealing with you anymore."

As usual, he didn't listen to her. Instead, he pulled her in for another kiss, seemingly refusing to acknowledge the fact that Megan was upset with him. When they finished this kiss, he turned to the door, finally leaving Megan to the peace she thought she wanted. She held the door open, leaning against it. The fight having gone out of her, weariness and disappointment taking it's place, she said to him "I'll see you tomorrow, at work. I just need time to think, Zach."

"Thinking is all you ever do Megan. I think you do too much of it."

"Well, someone's got to be the brains of this outfit, Nichols." She closed the door on him then, locking it. She leaned against it, emotionally drained after the last few hours. She launched herself off it, getting ready for bed. Her mind raced, thinking of the kiss she'd just received. She touched her lips with her fingers, part of her wishing that he'd stayed, that she hadn't sent him away. He was good, regrettably so. Part of her was still so angry with him. And then to kiss her to shut her up? The man had her confused, ranging between wanting to kill him or to kiss him again. She didn't feel like battling anymore, she just wanted to go to bed, so she did that. Come morning, she'd deal with all of this then.


	8. Chapter 8

Megan spent a very uncomfortable night. The rest she had sought didn't come. Emotionally drained, she tossed and turned. The baby seemed to be out of sorts to, kicking Megan a lot, keeping her up. All in all, she didn't feel like going to work and got a very late start. Called in for the case of a young woman found in a dumpster, she was glad she didn't have to be alone with Zach. He stood with a crime scene tech, by a dumpster.

Megan apologized for being late, and almost took Zach's head off when he said it was understandable. Yeah, it wasn't the pregnancy that had made her late. It was the stupid argument with him, the kiss, the tossing and turning all night. She almost hit him for saying it was understandable. When he'd asked her what she smelled in the dumpster, it was too much for her. After she threw up, she wanted to kill him more than ever.

Already Zach was engrossed in the latest case. What had happened last night didn't seem to have affected him like it had her. Megan was in severe discomfort, more so than any other time in her pregnancy. She felt the baby shift, and when they went to Ross' office, the two men arguing the merits of what a "Major Case" was, she didn't feel good, not at all. As she stood there watching the two men pick at one another, she felt the baby shift again, and her water broke. Still, the two men yammered on, and all Megan wanted to do was tell the two men to shut up. The only time they stopped talking was when Eames waltzed in with a message from Goren. Alex noticed Megan's discomfort immediately, the puddle on the floor and they left the two men standing there, staring after them. Megan didn't even want Zach to be there as backup, she just needed to be away from him a bit. Labor was going to be bad enough, she didn't want to deal with him anymore. Given that, she didn't know why she felt a twinge deep inside when he didn't come after them.

"Call your sister, I'll get you to St. Vincent's, okay, Megan?" Alex said to her.

"I'm on it. Thanks, Alex. I appreciate this."

"I would have thought your partner would take over. He does seem to be overly involved in things lately."

"Well, Nichols and I aren't exactly getting along right now. As you can see, he didn't even jump to take me to the hospital. And I really don't feel like being around him right now." Megan let out a hiss of air as another contraction came on. Once it passed, she phoned her sister to meet her at the hospital.

"We're almost there, Megan. How are you holding up?"

"Well, I'm doing as well as can be expected, Alex. Just get me there so I can have something for the pain. The contractions are about as bad as I expected them to be." Megan grabbed the door handle as another contraction hit her.

"Do you mind if I ask what Nichols did to set you off? What happened between you two?" Alex asked,

"Well, he used his sympathy techniques on me first, perfecting them before using them on a suspect. Now he's got a complaint filed against him for being overly familiar with a suspect. Oh, and he kissed me to shut me up. That's about it."

"He kissed you? When? Where? And why would he want to shut you up?"

"I was telling him that when I came back from maternity leave I was considering quitting Major Case or finding a new partner. He thought shutting me up would make me change my mind."

"Don't do anything rash, Megan. Wait til things calm down. Don't walk away from a job you love because of your partner. You're good at what you do."

"Thanks Alex. I'll remember that. Now, get me in there!" Megan said as they pulled up in front of the hospital.

Alex helped her in and stayed with her until Sarah arrived. After some quick introductions, and orders from Alex to keep her informed, Alex went to make her departure. Before she did so, however, Megan gave her one last piece of advice between screams "Just remember Alex, Nichols needs adult supervision. Good luck." With a quick hug, Alex left Megan and headed back to One Police Plaza.

When she got back to One Police Plaza, Nichols remained oddly quiet. He didn't ask after Megan, which was odd for him. Alex thought it odd, but chose to remain silent. It really wasn't any of her business, so she concentrated on the case. When they got called out to interview the mother, her phone rang on the way. It was Sarah with an update on Megan. No baby yet, Megan was doing quite well, except she was asking for Zach, wondering if he might be coming to the hospital. Alex didn't know what to say, cause it didn't appear he was going anywhere near there, even after all the training he'd done to be there. Sarah promised to phone again soon.

"Megan's doing fine, by the way."

"Okay, that's good. Did she say anything about me?"

"Well, in between screams, she did say you require adult supervision. But I already knew that."

Zach simply smiled. That was Megan, always with the snark, even while giving birth.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. The interview with the mother wasn't really helpful, but did provide a name, however flaky the mom appeared. Alex ran it down and came up with a suspect. Just as she was about to let the Captain and Zach know, her phone rang again. It was Sarah. Megan had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. She promised she'd be there as soon as shift was over, eagerly looking forward to seeing the baby.

Alex got up and went into the captain's office with her lead.

"By the way, it's a girl."

Both men stared at her blankly. "You know, Megan, the one who went into labor here at work? Your partner?" Alex looked at Zach.

"Oh, yeah, oh, that's good." Zach said, in his own little world.

Exasperated by both men, Alex got onto the elevator with Zach, and they headed off. Zach still refused to talk about anything but the case, which was his right. But he could at least show some concern for his partner whom he'd been so close to the last few months. That pissed her off more than anything.

They plodded through the rest of the case, the suspect trying to actually kill Zach. At this point, Alex thought she should be put on the list of people who wanted to do that. The situation with Megan and him was driving her nuts. _Men are idiots_ was all she could think. _Poor Megan, she really doesn't know what she's getting into with him. No wonder she's not talking to him. He doesn't even care she went into labor._

Finally the case was solved, and hearing that Ross had sent roses to Megan in Zach's name, Alex had had enough. Waiting til they were alone, Alex laid into him.

"Look, Nichols, I don't know all that happened between you and Megan, but you need to get your head out of your ass. You became just as close to her as anyone these last few months, so get your ass over to that hospital. And this time, bring her something, instead of having Ross send flowers in your name."

"I don't think she wants to see me, Alex. She was quite upset with me last night, and wasn't talking to me much this morning."

"Well, you kissed her to shut her up, you idiot. And told her that. What did you think she was going to be like? Plus, if she was really angry with you, would she have been asking if you were coming to the hospital while she was in labor? Did you really use her like she thinks you did? Because that is the most selfish, stupid thing I've ever heard.!" Alex continued to rake him over the coals.

"I know, I know. I'll go there after I go and find something nice for her. Wait, what, she told you I kissed her? Really? You aren't going to tell Ross are you? You don't know how hard things have been for me, Alex. Megan has been so skittish, and I always feel like I'm doing the wrong thing."

"Well, you certainly didn't do yourself any favors with this latest stunt. Get your ass to the hospital as soon as you can. Crawl in there on your hands and knees if you have to get her to forgive you. Do something, or you are both going to regret this. And don't worry about me telling Ross. You have nothing to worry about that there."

"You're right, I know you're right. It doesn't make it any easier. Do you know for months I've been trying to get her to see that I'm not like the others? That we almost went forward with each other, and she got scared?"

"None of that matters now. She thinks you betrayed her like Colin did, that you used her as a way of getting to your goal. I don't know how you are going to fix it, but you are." Alex finished, her anger starting to ebb somewhat.

"So what do you propose I do? I'm good at screwing up, making up is not my forte. Or so my ex tells me. That's why she's my ex."

"God, you men really are a piece of work. Do you need to be handheld through everything? Start with flowers. Lots of them. And gifts for the baby. Do you remember I told you she was named Margot? Try remembering that. And the biggest thing you can do is apologize, and not make excuses. Whether you believe it or not, her emotions will be even more intense than before. Don't screw it up anymore. Now, quit talking to me, and go to see her."

"Yes, boss, whatever you say." Zach said with a touch of sarcasm.

"Damn right you better listen to what I say. If you don't, it's going to be a very long six weeks, Nichols. Not even Bobby will be able to save you."


	9. Chapter 9

Megan looked at the tiny bundle, wrapped in a pink blanket. She couldn't believe she was a mother. That this tiny being was dependent on her. Margot slept on, oblivious to everything. Megan surveyed her, knowing she had green eyes, not blue. A tinge of red in her hair. She was thankful Margot didn't resemble Colin much, if at all.

Laying back on the bed, Megan tried to get some rest, but the reason for her unsettled emotions continued to haunt her. She wished she'd had a chance to work things out with Zach. It had beaten her heart down when she'd realized he wasn't going to be there in any way for the birth of her child. Of course, she'd told him she hadn't wanted him there, but she remembered crying out for him to be there. It was then that Megan realized exactly how much she did care for Zach, how much she wanted him, and she was deathly afraid she'd driven him right out of her life, except as a partner. She hoped he'd at least come to visit at the hospital, she really wanted to see him, work this out between the two of them. The birth of her daughter had put things in perspective.

The muted sounds of the hospital started to lull Megan to sleep. She had no idea where her sister had disappeared to. Shopping for a gift, she supposed. She glanced at the roses that had arrived, supposedly from Zach. She didn't believe for a minute that they were. Ross, probably, to make it seem like he cared. She drifted off, finally closing her eyes to the site, her mind finally able to turn off long enough for her to catch some sleep.

She had no idea what time it was when she woke herself up. Margot had slept on, and the catnap had done Megan a world of good. Glancing around the room, she started when she realized Zach was sitting in the corner.

"When did you get here?" Megan asked.

"About half an hour ago. You looked so peaceful lying there, I didn't want to wake you."

"That was good of you." Megan said awkwardly. Now that he was here, she didn't know what to say.

"Your daughter is beautiful. She looks like you."

"Thank God for small mercies."

Megan looked over to where her daughter lay sleeping, taking in the huge bear with a pink bow that now sat in the other chair in the room.

"Did you buy the biggest one you could find? How am I ever going to find a place for it at home?" she tried joking.

"I'm sure we'll manage, Megan. If we don't find a place, we can keep it at my place for when you bring her over to visit."

"That's good of you, Zach. Very assured of you, also."

"Well, I'm extending the use of my home to you. I'm hoping it will give you reason to visit very soon."

"I'd like that very much, Zach. Listen, Zach, I think we need to talk."

"I think that too, Megan. Are you sure you want to now, it can wait til you get out of the hospital."

"No, I'd like to talk now. I meant to talk to you before I went into labor. Everything happened so quickly, well, talking wasn't on my agenda."

"Perfectly understandable."

Megan gave him the look she reserved for him when he was treading on thin ice. Memories of puking beside the garbage bin surfaced, and she had to resist from being sarcastic with him. She needed to get this said.

Zach moved to a chair closer to the bed, and took her hand in his. A shock seemed to go up her arm, especially once he began the familiar rubbing back and forth with his thumb, as he'd done previously. It made it that much harder for her to get what she had to say out.

"Having Margot here has put things in place for me, Zach. She's here now, she depends on me. And while I know now you may not have intentionally hurt me over trust issues, it still hurt."

"You know I would never use you that way, Megan. I'd like to apologize for the kiss the other night. I had no right to do that. It wasn't meant to shut you up. I want you to know that. And I should have come to the hospital sooner. I feel like I've screwed things up between us. And I don't like that."

Megan looked at him, warming to his apology. So he could realize that he was wrong once in awhile. Wanting him to know he hadn't screwed things up that badly, she finally spoke.

"Yes, I realize that now. I also realize how hard it was to give birth and wanting you there. I just wish we could have worked things out beforehand. I found myself wanting you there very badly, and when you weren't, it tore at me."

"I was giving you space. The last I seen you, Eames and you were looking at us like we were idiots."

"I was standing in a puddle, Zach. Til Alex came in, Ross and you were too engaged in that conversation to even realize!"

"Point taken, but to be fair, we are men. We aren't always the quickest on the uptake." he tried joking with her.

Megan gave a small smile to him. Seeing him now, all she wanted was a hug from him. Finally, she started to speak again.

"Zach, what I'm trying to say, is that maybe, if you're interested, I'm willing to try."

Zach gave her that smile of his, the half one, as if he was plotting. Seeing her look at him, he smiled longer. "I have to warn you, you may be deemed as crazy. My ex went running and screaming in the other direction to get away from me."

"Well, I'm not exactly undamaged here, Zach. And I've got a baby in tow now, part and parcel for the deal."

"Yeah, well, you aren't the one who requires adult supervision. You going to manage watching Margot and me?"

That elicited a laugh out of Megan this time, and a smile.

"I think I'll manage. And to be fair, I was screaming in agony when I said that."

"Excuses, excuses. Oh, before I forget, I have a little something for you here." He reached into his jacket and came back out with a box in his hand. "A little something for you."

Megan looked at it, surprised he'd brought a gift for her. She took it from him, curious as the contents.

"Well, go ahead. Or are we going to stare at the box all day?"

"Well, geez, Zach, way to be impatient. Why another gift, I thought the roses were from you." She was stringing him on, knowing that he was not responsible for the roses.

"See, I may have been slightly forgetful and involved in the case. That's one of the things that sent my ex running. She couldn't take it anymore."

"I think I can handle it. I do have trust issues though. Don't blow it again."

"I'll try not. And as my first peace offering, let's open your gift."

Megan looked at the box again, toying with it. He seemed for her to open it, and this amused her. Finally, she slid the tiny ribbon off it, opening it. Inside was a jewelery box, for a necklace. She opened it, and was taken aback by what was inside. A lovely silver locket lay within.

"Zach, it's gorgeous! Thank you! But why would you do that? Flowers would have been enough."

"Well, I was thinking of the future. When you come back to work, you can have Margot's picture inside, and she'll be close to your heart while you're away from her. You are still coming back to work and being my partner, aren't you?" He looked at her with his big eyes.

"Yes, Zach, I'm going to stay with Major Case and you. I'm not going anywhere. Unless, of course, our relationship is found out and I'm kicked out of my job."

"You know, eventually, we'll have to come out in the open."

"Let's take it a day at a time, Zach. It's enough that I'm willing to try for now."

Zach was very close to Megan now. She almost held her breath, the air heavy in the room between them. She looked at the man she was starting to trust again, and almost trembled. A lot was happening between them and fast. When he moved closer, she didn't shy away, instead almost sighing as their lips met in a proper kiss for the first time. It was better than the other night, the feelings between them mutual, the friction between them forgotten for now.

"So, am I forgiven?" Zach spoke once they broke from the kiss.

"Yeah, I'll forgive you. But don't ever use me again. I know how to make your life hell. Believe me, I do." Megan smiled at him.

"Megan, you are too lovely to make any man miserable. And I think I've gotten to know you the last few months. There is nothing you could do at this point to make my life hell. Except maybe break up with me."

"Geez, Zach, we're just beginning a relationship, and you're talking break up already?"

"God, I hope not, Megan. I'm not prepared to give that up yet."

"Good to know, Zach, good to know." With that, Megan reached in and captured Zach's lips again, happier then she'd been in awhile.


	10. Chapter 10

"Megan, she's adorable. Looks just like you, down to the red in her hair." Ross said.

"Thanks, Captain. And before I forget, thanks for the lovely flowers. They are beautiful." Megan replied.

"Oh, you know that it was me that sent them?" he looked a little embarrassed, having been caught out so easily.

"Nichols is kind of absentminded. And besides, I figured you'd cover up for him. You're good at that." Megan smiled.

"Well, I try. Has he been here to visit?" he inquired.

Megan almost blushed. Ross had shown up to visit about 15 minutes after Zach had left. Thank god he hadn't walked in when they were kissing. Finally she said, "He was here. He brought Margot a teddy bear."

"That huge thing? My god, he's outdone himself this time. The poor kid will be a teenager before she can even lift it."

"Well, the thoughts there, I suppose. Just like your flowers were. You both are good to me."

"I've known you a long time, Megan. This should be a joyful time for you. Remember, anytime you need help, I'm there."

Wanting to get off this line of talk, Megan changed the subject. "So how are my intrepid partner and Eames getting along? She try to kill him yet?"

"Not yet. Although her opinion of the two of us isn't very high at the moment. Because we didn't see your water break. But she's more upset with Zach than she is with me. I can live with that."

Megan seen that Ross was clueless about why Alex would be ticked off. That was a good thing. Let him think it involved the two men's inaction when she went into labor. No need for anyone to know about Zach and her for now.

"I'll be back soon, Captain. Alex will keep him in line."

"I'm sure she will. She's had a lot of practice at that."

A bit more chitchat, and Danny got up to leave.

"I appreciate you coming to visit. I'm holding you to the diaper changing you promised." Megan smiled.

"Well, I'm a little out of practice at that, but I'm there any time you need me. You did good, Megan. She's beautiful."

"Thanks, captain."

"I better get going. I promised to pick Liz up, she had to work later then expected. She was going to come to see the baby, but had to stay at work."

"Tell her I said Hi, and I expect her to come see Margot." Megan smiled.

"Oh, I will. She's dying to see your bundle of joy. Her words, not mine." he smiled at her.

With that, he said goodbye and took his leave. Megan didn't get much respite, because her missing sister finally returned.

"Where'd you disappear to? You've been gone for hours!" Megan said to her.

"Shopping for my niece. Picked up some cute little outfits for her. Got to start early with her." Sarah replied.

"I had company while you were gone. Zach came by."

"I hope he was groveling. I really do. He mucked up big time." Sarah scowled.

"It's okay, Sarah, we worked things out. We're going to give things a try. Here, look at this. He gave me this." Megan held up the delicate locket that Zach had given her.

"It's beautiful, Megan, but really? Did he apologize or not? A locket isn't going to cut it."

"He apologized, Sarah. And we both want to see if we can work this out. He knows I'm scared he's going to hurt me. Especially after what he did the other night. It's hard to explain, but I really want to work on this with him. There's something about him that I....."

"Okay, Megs, okay. But if he hurts you again, his ass is mine. I don't care if he's a cop or not, I will kick his ass so hard he won't be able to sit for a week. Colin's just lucky he was locked up, or I would have done it to him."

"I'll make sure Zach knows that. I already threatened to do him bodily harm."

"Good, let him know where he stands. I hope it works out for you, I really do."

"So, are you going to stand here talking about Zach, or are you going to show me the cute outfits you bought for my daughter?" Megan changed the subject.

"I would love to." Sarah grabbed the bags, pulling out the first of many outfits.

"You're spoiling her, and she's less than 24 hours old. You're too good to us."

"Who else am I going to be able to dress up? My boys won't let me do it." Sarah laughed.

"Point taken. By all means, spoil my daughter then."

"Don't worry, I will. This may be my only niece that I ever get a chance to do this with."

"Hey, I could have more children. You don't know that."

"All I'm saying is that I'm lucky I have one niece to spoil. And I'm not passing up the opportunity. If you have more children, I'll believe it when I see it."

"We'll see. I've barely had this child, I'm not getting into a debate whether I'm having more or not."

"Good, now I'm going to hold my niece and you are going to get a little rest. You're looking a little pale right now."

"Sounds like a plan. I am tired. The last few days have taken a lot out of me. I'm just hoping things are back on track now."

"So am I. Now you rest, I'll take care of Margot."

With that, Megan leaned back against her pillow, knowing her daughter was in capable hands. Her thoughts drifted between Margot and Zach, and when she finally dozed, it was with a smile on her lips.


	11. Chapter 11

First night home with the baby, and there was a thunderstorm happening. Megan lay in the dark, watching the flashes of lightening illuminate the room occasionally. The baby slept through, oblivious to the light and noise. Megan lay in thought, thinking about how things were now.

Zach had phoned, checking in, making sure she and Margot were settled in. Eames and him were working late on a case, and he wanted to make sure that Megan was okay. He promised that he'd be over tomorrow after work, he wouldn't let things go for longer than that. A few moments later, Alex had phoned, promising to come for a visit tomorrow also. Megan was grateful for her good friends, family and now, Zach. She wasn't sure how to classify him. Boyfriend? That sounded so juvenile. Partner? Well, they were becoming more than that. Significant other? Maybe that was pushing things a little. Regardless, he was hers, somehow. She couldn't believe how much she missed the job, but realized that some of it was simply she missed being around him. She chuckled at herself, here she was again, tossing and turning because of Zach. Except now, she wasn't angry with him. She just missed him. She finally drifted off, catching a couple of hours sleep before Margot woke her up, needing fed and changed.

Megan sat in the rocking chair, feeding the baby. The storm had died off, leaving just the sound of rain against the windows. Smiling at her daughter, she rocked away, not believing how much she loved the little girl already. Once her daughter was burped and drifted off back to sleep, Megan crawled back into bed, ready for slumber. She awoke the next morning to sunshine, and knocking at her door. Putting on her robe, she headed to see who was there. Looking through the peephole, she was surprised to see it was Zach.

"I bring tea and bagels for the new mom!" he said, as he came through the door, holding up a tray of cups and a bag. Putting it down on her counter, he shrugged off his coat.

"What are you doing here so early? I thought you were coming by tonight?" Megan asked.

"I am coming by tonight. But I wanted to see you."

"Why, did you change your mind about us seeing each other?" Megan asked with suspicion, her guard up already.

"Why would you ask that? Of course I haven't changed my mind. I just wanted to see you. Is that a crime?"

"No, I guess not. Did you bring the cream cheese with you?" Megan relented, looking into the bag he'd brought.

"Would I forget something like that? You have a selection in there." He took in how Megan looked. "Did I get you out of bed?"

"The storm kept me up. And then there is this little thing called the baby's routine? I get up when she gets up. Needs fed and changed quite a lot." Megan deadpanned.

"Ah, yes, well, forgive me. I'm new to this whole baby thing. Never actually been around one. At least that wasn't being taken care of by it's mother. And not during the night."

"Regretting wanting to get to know me better, Zach? Her routine is my routine now. I'm giving you a chance to escape all this." Megan gestured with her arm, sweeping in the general direction of the baby's room.

"I didn't say that, Megan. I'm just new to all this." he smiled that little smile at her. He came up behind her, taking her in his arms. "I don't want to give up before we've even started. I'm here, Megan, and I'm not going anywhere."

Megan relaxed into his arms. "What do you want on your bagel?" she asked him.

"Surprise me." he said.

"So why are you here so early?" she questioned again.

"I thought I'd make sure you had breakfast. And it gave me a great excuse to drop by before work. I wanted to be here your first day home with her."

"Zach, we aren't married. It's okay. You don't need to be here every second of every day. I wouldn't expect that of you."

"Would it help to say that I miss you as a partner? Eames is great, don't get me wrong. But she's not you. You put up with a lot more than she does."

"It's good to be wanted. I'm not sure it's good to be wanted just because I put up with a lot more." she smiled.

They sat on her couch then, eating their bagels. Still tired from the night, her new routine needed getting used to, Megan settled back into Zach's arms.

"Rest. I'm not going anywhere." he said. She lay back in his arms, surprised at how they were. It's not like this was what she'd ever intended to happen with him. It was suppose to be only friendship, a shoulder to lean on. Now, she had him as hers. She was content. Not something she was used to being.

"How's it going with Eames? She keeping you in line?" Megan asked.

"As well as she can. Have I really been that strange a partner for you? I always thought we worked quite well together." he questioned her.

"You take some getting used to. But now that I have, it's something I've rather enjoyed. Our relationship, not withstanding. You aren't quite as hot-headed as Mike was."

"Do you ever talk to him? Ever find out why he left?"

"The job got to him. He kind of burnt out on it. That DA started a witch hunt, and I was caught up in it. Mike stirred the waters that caught Colin in it. Still, I can't begrudge Mike that. He did what was right. And thank god it came out about Colin before I actually married him."

"Do you feel anything for Colin yet?" Curiosity got the better of him, he had to know if she still had any feelings for her ex.

Not quite as subtle as he thought he was, Megan knew why he was asking. "I've asked myself that many times over the last few months. The only thing I feel for him anymore is disdain. I can't believe I was convinced I was in love with him. I feel betrayed by him, that he thought he could do this behind my back. And he probably would have gotten away with it." Megan shook her head sadly.

"Has he ever tried to contact you since he went to prison?" Zach couldn't help himself. He had to know.

"A few times. He tried phoning, but I didn't answer. And he's sent a couple of letters which I haven't opened. I have no time for his excuses for what he did."

"No curiosity whatsoever?"

"No, none. And if you don't mind, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please."

Reluctantly, he let it drop. He'd pushed her enough for one day. Margot chose then to wake up, needing a change and to be fed. He watched Megan go through the routine, already a pro at it.

"You've had experience with diapers and feeding?" he asked.

"I have two nephews, you know. I did get a practice run when they were babies." Megan smiled at him.

"I'd be hopeless at this. Never done it. No one to practice on."

"It's not that hard. I'll let you practice on Margot one day."

"You have it well in hand, my dear."

"Chicken." she laughed.

"For you, I'll try. Someday."

"Thank you. That's all I can ask."

Once Megan had Margot settled, it was time for Zach to get going. Reluctantly, Megan walked him to her door.

"I'll be back after work, barring any late developments in the case." he said, taking her in his arms again.

"It's okay, Zach. You don't have to be here every day. We're just starting out. I don't expect that much."

"Megan, I've been here the last few months for you. I'm not just going to disappear now that you've had her. Not when we're just starting out."

"I just don't want to have any expectations. I can't afford to get hurt anymore. I don't want to get hurt anymore."

"I won't hurt you, Megan. Remember that." With that, he kissed her. She lay her head against his chest.

"I'll see you later. Tell Alex hi for me, and tell her I expect her to see Margot tonight." she smiled.

"I will. I better get going. She doesn't like me being late anymore than you did."

"Have you learned what she likes in her coffee yet?"

"She keeps changing. One day she likes it black, the next with cream and sugar. How am I ever going to figure her out?"

"Don't even try. Bobby and her have been partners for 9 years, and he still doesn't have everything figured out. Just go with the flow."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. You know, she threatened to kick my ass if I didn't apologize to you."

"Funny, my sister promised to do the same thing if you hurt me. What is it about you that makes women want to kick your ass?" Megan smiled.

"My natural charm and wit?"

"You go with that, Zach." Megan chuckled. With one more kiss, he was out the door, leaving Megan with a smile on her lips as she watched him leave.


	12. Chapter 12

The days after Margot's birth seemed to fly for Megan. She doted on her daughter, loved the time she spent with her. Zach came over when he could, and they settled into a routine of movies and time just spent together learning about one another. Her feelings for him were turning into something deeper, and it scared her. The last time she'd felt anything, she'd picked the wrong man, that was for sure. She hadn't talked to anyone as much as she'd talked to him. The way he seemed to get stuff out of her, surprised her to a great extent. And the fact that he talked so openly of himself surprised her too. But, she had a nagging feeling that it was too good to last, and she was right.

Zach had spoken fleetingly of the terrorist case that Eames and him were working on. Megan had known of the bomb they'd found in the car, his breaking the window and finding it in the box. He'd told her all this, and while she'd worried, she'd also known he really felt no fear about it. She'd learned of the hostage taking at the bank through television reports, but had no idea that what happened in that bank would bring repercussions. The first she'd known of how shaken up Zach was a telephone call from Alex. She had told Megan that Zach had almost convinced the girl to give up, but that the FBI shot her anyway. It had hit Zach hard, the girl dead in his arms, blood all over him. Megan waited for Zach to come, to talk, so she could help him through this, like he'd been there for her. When he didn't show, she began worrying more than ever. When she tried phoning she got no answer, going straight to voicemail. Finally, she couldn't take it any more. She contacted her sister, asking her to babysit. Sarah came quickly to pick up Margot, giving Megan all the time she needed to find Zach.

"You have no idea where he is? Why isn't he answering the phone?" Sarah asked Megan when she arrived at the apartment.

"I don't know. I'm worried about him, though. Eames said he was acting strangely after the shooting. Once he'd finished up at OnePP, he disappeared, and she hasn't been able to get hold of him either. I just want to go by his place, see if I can find him."

"Well, Margot is fine. Pick her up when you can. Go find him." Sarah smiled, taking her niece in her arms.

"Her bag is over there, it's packed with extra bottles and diapers. I'll try to be as quick as I can."

"Don't worry about it. Take as much time as you need."

With that, Megan was out the door, heading for her car. Once she was in the driver seat, she took a huge breath, expelling it, trying to focus on things. She thought she'd start with the obvious, his house. So, that's where she went. Driving through the streets, she couldn't help but worry about him. Zach could generally shrug things off. He had a demeanor that was perpetually amused, nothing ever seeming to get to him. He was good at hiding things too. Very rarely had she seen him get emotional about anything. She was certain Alex hadn't told her everything either of what had happened at the bank. She needed to find Zach and make sure he was okay.

Pulling up outside his place, she seen his car parked in the drive. She felt a certain relief at that, figuring he wouldn't be too far from there, probably inside. She locked up her car, and ran up the steps, ringing the bell. She heard nothing from inside, and started to knock. Finally, the door opened. Zach looked like hell. He stepped back, allowing her entrance to the house.

"Why aren't you answering your phone? I've been worried about you." she cupped his face in her hand, relieved to see him.

"I needed time to think. Put things in perspective." he replied.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really, Megan."

He turned, going to his darkened living room. She followed him, watching him ease into a chair again, where he had a drink waiting. She watched him, concern flowing through her.

"Have you been sitting in the dark and drinking since you got home?"

"No, some drinking, a lot of thinking." he said, taking another sip of what she thought was whiskey.

"Is your phone broken? I've been trying to contact you. Eames told me what happened."

"That was good of her."

"Zach, come on, talk to me. You've been there for me the last few months, please talk to me." Megan pleaded, never having seen Zach so despondent

"I don't think you'll like what I have to say." Panic flickered across Megan's face. What exactly had this case done to him?

Zach continued speaking."No, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm not sure I can do this whole "me and you" thing. I thought I could, I really did. But then, today, this case, it made me realize why I never had children. I can't taint a child. And I know Margot's not mine. But if we're going to be together, I will influence her in someway. And it's not something I think I can do. I don't want to ruin your child with my hangups."

Megan sat, feeling like she'd been slapped in the face. She got up, starting to pace. Swiping her hand through her hair, she turned on him.

"So, just like that, we're through. No talking about it, no asking how I feel about things, just "I don't think I can do this?" This is why I didn't want to get involved with you. I fought it, I really did. I knew it was bad. But no, I put everything aside, gave it a chance. And all of two weeks in, you decide that you just don't think you can do this?"

"I told Alex this. You're suppose to fill a child with love. But I'm just a big Oops. A mistake. And I can't do that to your child."

"What makes you think you will? You've been around her since she was born, and been nothing but the sweetest, gentlest person with her. Why would you think you'd ruin her?" Megan was on the verge of tears. Her fears were being realized, and for the first time, she'd also realized she fallen for Zach, and hard. She didn't want to lose him. "Zach, I'm not ready to give "us" up. When you figure out things out, come find me. Til then, I'm gone." With that, Megan walked towards the door. Anything else she said would be like talking to a brick wall in the mood he was in. Still, as she reached her car, tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't believe that things had come down to this.

Zach sat there, stunned by how quickly Megan had left. Maybe she was right. He'd poked and prodded his way into her life. He'd dominated the baby classes, he'd been there for her, and now, he was shutting her out, slamming the door on their relationship. He thought of Margot, and how much Megan loved the little girl. Even he could appreciate the bond between the two of them. _What have I done?_, he thought to himself. Life seemed to creep back into him, as he realized that he'd driven her away. The stupor he'd been in since the girl had died seemed to leave him, and he couldn't believe what he'd done. He'd done what he'd told her he wouldn't do, he'd hurt her. Standing up, he searched for his car keys, knowing he needed to go after her and make things right. He felt worse, realizing she'd come there to help him through this, and instead, he'd driven her away. Now, he knew he needed to find her and make things right, not knowing if she'd give him a chance once again.


	13. Chapter 13

Megan drove aimlessly around the city. She knew Margot was in good hands, so didn't worry about her. She felt devastated. She was angry with herself, she'd known it was a dangerous thing to get involved with Zach. She thought she'd learned her lesson with Colin, but no, she'd fallen right back into it. She pulled up to a stop in a small park that overlooked the river. For the first time, she finally let the tears fall. She'd been so happy, and the rug was pulled out from under her once again, just like that.

On the seat beside her, her phone chirped. Checking caller I.D., she flipped the phone back onto the seat. Two could play at that game of not answering the phone. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she thought about their brief relationship. She'd told him she didn't want to get hurt again. She'd tried to walk away after he'd kissed her, but giving birth to Margot had made her realize how much she did want to be with him. And now, he didn't want to be with her because of Margot, tainting her, or so he said. She knew that Zach had as many "father" issues as she did. But what gave him the right to want to give up on their relationship, not knowing if they could work through this together?

The phone rang again, bringing her back to reality. She ignored it, staring out at the river. Night was falling, and she knew she should get going and try to put some semblance of normality back to her life. Looking at the time, she found it hard to believe only a few hours had passed, enough for her world to fall apart. She started the car and headed for her sisters place. She managed to escape with only a few brief questions on her sisters part. She kept her answers short, thanked her sister profusely for taking care of Margot on such short notice, collected her daughter and left for home. She just wanted to fall into bed and sleep.

Half an hour later, Megan pulled up in front of her building. Getting out of her car, she quickly got Margot out, locked up and headed towards the door. Sitting on the front steps sat Zach. Stopping, Megan stared at him, wanting to both slap and hug him. Instead, she stared mutely at him. He finally broke the silence.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" He attempted to smile at her, trying to warm her up.

"That was my mistake in the first place, inviting you in to my life." she replied sadly.

"Megan, we have to talk. I really don't want to do it on your front steps, but if you want, I will." he blackmailed her.

"Fine, we'll go in. I've had quite enough for one day, so make this quick." Surprisingly, Zach took Margot's car seat from Megan, and carried Margot up the stairs for her. Megan followed, getting her key out and letting them into the front entrance. Once in her apartment, Megan took the baby back from Zach, putting her to bed. Coming out of the baby's room, Megan crossed to the couch, sitting down.

"Are you here to tell me we're definitely through? Because a phone call would have sufficed for that. Then I wouldn't have to look at you." Megan said defensively.

"I'm sorry, Megan. I really am. And I'm not here to break up with you. I'm here because you told me that when I figured things out to come and find you. Well, you're walking out of my place helped me figure things out. And it turns out, I'm not ready to say goodbye to "us" either." He gave her that lopsided smile of his.

"So now you don't want to break up? Zach, you can't keep doing this to me. You're killing me here. I don't know what to think anymore." Megan almost started to tear up again.

"Don't cry, hon. I'm sorry. I'm an idiot sometimes. You walking out that door woke me up. I've been in a daze since everything happened. And like an idiot, I took it out on you. I thought if I pushed you away, then I wouldn't have to deal with this. It's easier to push someone away, to not deal with things."

"You can't do that, Zach. You can't just decide to want to end things with me without even talking to me first. You had your mind all made up that things were through between us. That's why I left. Do you know, I've spent the better part of the last three hours crying? Thankfully my sister didn't ask too many questions when I picked up Margot. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you, I really am. And that's why I was trying to be there for you."

"I know, I know. I can't tell you how wrong I've been the last few hours. I should never have said that to you. You're the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. And I screwed it up." He shook his head, fearing she wouldn't take his apology.

"Well, I told you at your place, Zach. I'm not ready to give "us" up. But if you ever do anything like this to me again, you will regret it to the day you die. And look at my face. Do I look like I'm kidding on that last part? There are no more chances, Zach." Megan knew she sounded harsh, but she was still incredibly angry with him. She knew she should be more understanding of what he'd been through, but at this point, she didn't care.

"Does that mean we're good? Cause I really need to know if we're okay."

"We're as good as we'll be for now, Zach. Listen, I'm exhausted. Near breakups and crying for hours really take their toll on me. I just want to go and lay down, Zach." Megan suppressed a yawn.

Zach didn't answer her. Instead he stood in front of her, and drew her to her feet. Taking her into his arms, he gave her a deep, longing kiss. Megan gripped his head, drawing him in closer to her. Finally, she broke off, laying her head on his chest.

"I'm tired, Zach. I'm going to lay down. It's been a long day." Megan kneaded the material of his shirt, not really wanting to let go.

Sensing her reluctance to part from him, now that he'd come to his senses, Zach simply kept his arm wrapped around her and lead her to the bedroom. Taking off their shoes, they lay down on the bed, pulling a cover up around them. He kept his arms wrapped tight around her, afraid to let her go. The warmth of his body made her feel secure and she started to drift off to sleep. Her last thoughts before napping were of Zach, and worrying if he would be there when she woke up.

Zach, for his part, lay there holding her. After the way things had been today, he couldn't shut his mind down. He kept thinking of the girl, her blood all over him. He thought of Megan, and how close he'd come to losing her again, screwing up and driving her away. Where ever they were going, he knew it was too late for him. He couldn't say he was in love, but he was heading in that direction. He didn't know why, he only knew that she'd intrigued him from the moment he had met her. Losing her wasn't an option, and he needed to stop damaging the fragile trust that was between them. Margot was part and parcel of a relationship with Megan. When he'd realized she was pregnant not long after they'd begun their partnership, he'd felt so protective of her. She'd tried to keep him at arms length, but she'd failed as he had. He'd pushed and prodded his way into her life, and now that he'd finally gotten her this far in a relationship, he'd almost screwed it up. A cold feeling went up his spine when he realized how he'd almost ruined everything. He pulled her closer, needing to know she was there. She stirred in her sleep, turning over to face him. He kissed her forehead and pulled the cover tighter around them. He soon drifted into sleep beside her.

A few hours later, Megan awoke, finding herself still ensconced in Zach's arms. He held her tightly to him , almost as if he were afraid to let her go, even in sleep. She freed one of her hands from his grip and traced his face with her finger. This was enough to wake him up, and he granted her with one of his smiles. She returned it, before reaching in to give him a kiss. He returned the kiss deeply, pulling her impossibly closer to him. She arched into him, before drawing back. She wasn't ready for something like this yet, not so soon after Margot's birth. She reluctantly pulled away from him.

"Is something wrong, Megan?" Zach asked, concern filling his eyes.

"No, not really. I'm just not ready for this, physically or emotionally." Megan said.

"Will you be, someday?" he asked, pulling her back to him.

As an answer, she kissed him again. "Zach, I want you, I do. It's just too soon after Margot's birth. Plus, I'm not wrapping up a day of arguing with you by having sex. When it happens, and it will, I don't want it based on a day when I've felt like throttling you. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, yes it does. Remind me not to anger you again. These threats against my wellbeing aren't good for my mental health." he joked with her.

Megan gave him one of her looks and smiled at him. He pulled her close and began feathering her neck with kisses, concentrating on her pulse points. _God, I want him_ was the thought that flashed through her brain. If possible, she would have made love to him then, but as she'd told him, it wasn't happening.

Margot chose that moment to awaken, her cries echoing through the apartment. Megan pulled away from him, getting up to go tend to her. To her surprise, Zach followed along behind her.

"You don't have to get up, Zach."

"I want to Megan." He smiled at her, showing her that he meant to keep to his word of trying.

"You're on diaper duty then." Megan said to him mischievously.

"I have my limits, sweetheart. Changing diapers are one of them." He joked back. He turned serious then, afraid he'd pushed her too far. "But if you want me to try, I will."

"Well, you get her out of bed and put her on the change table. I'll take care of the rest." Megan compromised.

She watched as he scooped Margot out of her crib, ever so gently. Her daughter quit fussing as soon as she was picked up. Tiny green eyes regarded the man who held her ever so seriously. Zach held Margot close, carrying her to the table and gently placing her down, securing her. Megan took over then.

"It's really not that hard. Watch me."

Megan quickly undressed her daughter, took off the diaper, cleaned her and put a new one back on, followed by a clean outfit. The next step was feeding her, and Zach watched as she prepared a bottle quickly before settling in to feed her. Megan held her daughter close. It actually wouldn't be that long til this small period of time would be over, and Megan would be back on the job. She only wished it hadn't been quite this strenuous, so emotionally draining.

Zach watched her, his eyes taking in every little moment between mother and daughter. He could see how much she loved her child. And he felt glad she'd forgiven him, let him be a part of this. As the trauma from the day faded somewhat, he thought how he'd overreacted, and even more foolish.

Margot drifted off again after Megan finished burping her. He watched as she gently placed her back in the crib. Crossing over to Megan, he took her in his arms and just held her close, hugging her as if he would never let go. She returned the hug, burrowing into him, not wanting to ever leave his arms. She lifted her face, and he caught her lips in a kiss again, showing Megan how much he truly was sorry he'd hurt like he had that day.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Sorry this chapter took so long to come about. With the cast changes that have been announced, I've been feeling might low about my ship and my writing. Don't worry, I'm not giving up on this, I just needed to take a step back for a couple of weeks and absorb it all. Thanks for hanging in here, I really appreciate you all giving the time to read and review.**

Megan stretched out, and felt the warm body lying next to her. It had been awhile since she'd shared a bed with a man. She smiled when it came to her that Zach had actually spent the night, hadn't fled once she was back to sleep. After Margot had fallen back to sleep, the couple had fallen back into bed. He'd wrapped his arms tight around her(which seemed to be a favorite thing for him to do), and they'd drifted into slumber once again. She listened to the gentle rhythm of his breathing. She'd never seen him so relaxed, and it fascinated her. When he slept, his worries seemed to dissipate, and he looked younger. Snuggling close to his side, she planted a kiss on the base of his throat. He tightened his grip on her, kissing her forehead.

"You're awake." She whispered in the half light, dawn just beginning to encroach on them.

He smirked. "Nothing gets by you, does it Megan. You're so perceptive."

"Don't test me, Zach. I can still kick your ass, as I keep reminding you."

Megan smiled at him, which led her to a case of the giggles. She had no idea why she felt so giddy, considering yesterday she'd wanted to kill him.

"What? What did I do that's so funny?" Zach asked, confused, yet amused.

"Nothing, nothing. It's just, I never once thought I'd be here like this with you, Zach. When I met you, I didn't know what to think of you. It's like you didn't even need a partner. I never would have thought I'd end up in a bed with you. Never, ever thought that about you." Megan revealed.

"Never? Nothing about me was appealing?" Zach asked, deciding to play with her.

"I didn't say that. But I will say, you had a way of irking me. But it wasn't just you. So many things were going on during that time, you acting like you didn't need me was just one more thing I didn't need." Megan's smile diminished somewhat. "But then, you learned what I like in my coffee. The day you did that, everything changed for me. You were someone I could learn to like."

Megan snuggled in close to him again. He pressed closer to her, pulling her into him. "I have to say, I like you very much, Megan. Very, very much." He captured her lips, letting her know exactly how he felt. He couldn't help himself, he let his fingers slip under her shirt, coming into contact with the warm skin of her back. He heard the intake of her breath as he did so, but all he did was rub her back. He looked at her face, seeing it flushed pink.

Reluctantly, Megan pulled away. She liked the intimate contact they'd just had, but drew the line at it for now. Like she'd told him during the night, it would happen eventually. Doing this would just lead to frustration for both of them right now.

"You sure know how to make a girl feel wanted, Zach." She reached in and kissed him again, before finally getting out of bed. She headed for the shower, leaving him laying there.

Climbing into the shower, she thought again about the man laying in her bed. She'd fought like hell to make him come to his senses yesterday. Walking out seemed to be the only thing that had gotten to him, to make him realize that this was more than just some random thing, going nowhere between the two of them. The last few days had solidified in Megan's mind exactly what she felt about him. Somewhere between him learning what she liked in her coffee, and him turning into her best friend besides her sister, she'd fallen in love with him. She'd fallen hard. That's why when he'd wanted to walk away from it all yesterday, it had almost killed her. She wasn't one to fall in love with just anyone. In fact, she could only say she'd ever loved Colin. And look where that had gotten her. Falling for Zach was putting so much on the line. Her partnership with him could be compromised, not to mention her entire job. If things were to fall apart with him, as they'd come so close to doing, where would that leave her?

Megan dried herself with a towel, pulled on a robe, and went looking for Zach. She found him sitting at her table, having made coffee for them. He'd even prepared hers too. She hadn't had coffee in so long, and she was bottlefeeding Margot, getting ready to go back to work. It wasn't her first choice, but it was what it was. She smiled at Zach, thinking she could get used to this, to _him_, being there, like this.

"You remember! It's been awhile since I had one."

"You know I remember everything." He gave her his half smirk, the one she'd grown so used to the last few months.

"Of course you do. You never forget anything. Keep that in mind for the future for my birthday. You forget it, then we might have a problem." Her smile kept it from being a serious threat, but Zach took the underlying tone to mean he better not.

"Not to worry. When your birthday comes around this year, we'll make plans for the three of us."

They fell silent then, the early morning light starting to fill her apartment. She didn't know why she was up so early, and should have taken the time to rest. After all, with the baby still asleep, and she should have been resting.

"Do you have to go in today?" Megan asked him.

"Later on, finish up some paper work. Something like this, there's always more paperwork. But I don't have to leave just yet. Although I should swing home for a change of clothes. I kind of left in a hurry last night. Nothing like seeing the woman you adore walk out the door and not being sure you'll ever see her again to make you forget a change of clothes."

Megan looked at him. He _adored _her? He had a subtle way of stating things, she thought to herself. She wondered if he would fall as hard for her as she had for him.

"I think I'm going to lay down again, before Margot wakes up. You can join me, if it doesn't end up in a makeout session again."

"What, you don't like making out with me?" Zach pouted.

"Oh, I like it just fine. And it definitely will happen again. But I just want to rest for a bit."

"Actually, I'm going to head home and shower. I'll be back after I finish up at MCS. Would you care to go out for a bite to eat after? My treat." Zach played with his hair, making Megan smile. It was that tick of his that she loved to watch, he was often deep in thought when he did it, and Megan loved it.

"Sure, sounds good. And Zach? Don't do anything stupid today, okay? I can't go through another day like yesterday. Once is enough."

They stood up then, and Zach drew her close. "You don't have to worry about that, Megan. I meant what I said last night. I was stupid, and I can't believe I almost lost you. I'll be back later. You can count on it."

With that, he reached in and gave her a deep kiss. Reluctantly, he finally let go, and headed out the door, leaving a smiling Megan behind. It had been a rough twenty-four hours, but she'd made it through. _They'd_ made it through, she corrected herself. With that thought on her mind, she crawled back into bed, and quickly fell back to sleep.


End file.
